If you have been following me on Instagram (which is where I was primarily posting before I re-started my blog last week), then you know my struggles with weight loss. When I say I have tried everything, I mean everything. Everything! It wasn’t until I got a job out of my house and got my butt back into a gym away from the TV and snacks that things started to change. I’m not going to say that if you work out at home that you can’t have results. Because I know people who ONLY work out at home and they have phenomenal results. But when the only time I was leaving my house sometimes was to pick up or drop off kids, I was bored and filled my time watching hours of TV and eating whatever I wanted.
I went back to work in November after being a stay at home mom for almost 11 years and it’s a whole new world out here! But, I immediately started to come out of this dark and depressing hole that I had been living in. I realized I didn’t want to be sad anymore. I didn’t want to be a snark-hole who hated everything and everyone. This past Saturday marked 9 years since my Dad passed away and every year since then I was a mess. All I did was think about that day that he died and just re-lived it over and over. This year that changed. Instead of remembering what HAPPENED to him, I remembered HIM. We went out to eat at his favorite Mexican restaurant, we looked at old pictures of him. Let me tell you, what a freaking difference! I can’t tell anyone how long or how to grieve. That is not my place. All I can talk about is my own experience. I know that he would be much happier knowing that I’m not wallowing, grieving, mourning. He would want us to be happy, remembering him and laughing about our memories…and it felt good! Did I cry that anniversary? Of course. I miss him every day, but I feel like I have moved from a sorrowful, deep hurting cry to something much more healthier and positive.
I did not mean to go there today, but I feel like it’s all a part of my transformation journey. Just like on one of my fave shows; My 600 lb Life, you HAVE to move forward and heal from your past experiences otherwise you will never have long lasting success. That being said- I take pictures because I know that the scale does not tell the full picture and I went way back to 2017 for this before picture. I remember that day clearly, it was when I decided that it was time to start the next chapter of our lives and knew that I would be going back to work in 2018. I wasn’t sure where or how, but I knew a change was coming! Shortly after that picture, I signed up through NASM for their online training courses and got serious about everything.
And here we are today. This was the first side by side picture that really shocked me and I can really see a difference now!