Road to Bayshore

2020 is going to be a big year for in our house for a few reasons:

1. Our oldest will be 18 and graduating high school

2. 10 years since the worst year EVER of my life and I feel like I have finally healed.

3. I’ll be turning 40.

I remember being in high school and we were all talking about turning 40 in the year 2020 and back in 1998, that seemed a bajillion years away. And yet…here we are! It’s insane how much has changed and in some ways, how many things have stayed the same.

I recently came across a couple of bags and one album from the super early years with my 2 oldest kiddos. I look at those pictures and it instantly takes me back to that time, and in all honesty, doesn’t seem like it was as long ago as it was.

My Dad passed away suddenly and tragically in 2010. At the time, I never thought life would be good again. How could it. That year continued to go down the crapper and we ended up losing friends and more loved ones before the year was over. Looking back over the last 10 years, most of it is a blur of grief and misery, but the last couple of years were when things started to look up again and I am equal parts excited and slightly terrified about what this next decade will bring.

Growing up my nickname has and continues to be Bird. There is a backstory, but it’s a name that has stuck around and in honor of my birthday this year, my sister came up with the hashtag #birdturns40. One thing I have always wanted to do is run a half marathon. I have decided that the 2020 Bayshore is the one I’m doing. Bayshore_map.jpg

Registration opens this Sunday and the race is at the end of May- giving me 25 weeks of training time. I can not run for very far and not fast, so I’m starting the training now. My only goal is to finish.  Thankfully my sister is flying in from CA for this race and I am SO excited to be running this with her! She is my biggest supporter, motivator and always there when I need to vent and don’t need the situation “fixed.”

Today was my first training run with a training run of 1.5 miles. I did more walking than running and it took me just under 28 minutes to finish. It’s going to be a long road! But, here we go…I’m excited and nervous about what the next 25 weeks will hold!!

Working on Myself for Myself

I have been on the receiving end of some coaching the last few weeks, working on changing my thought processes and how I attach emotions and feelings to food. It is really starting to help and I am teaching my brain different pathways- which is freaking HARD. I’m also learning that it’s ok to say no. Saying no doesn’t mean deprivation, it means sticking things that work for me and for my body.

Years ago, I was heavily involved with weight watchers and that was the time when I started associating foods as either “good or bad.” and I also got into the mindset of “I’ll start over next week.” I’m just going to take the pressure off myself this week, but TOMORROW…I’ll be perfect. Guess what. Tomorrow never came.

I have been using an app called Lose It, the last week or so. And my mindset has totally changed. I’m logging and tracking everything, but it’s not making me feel like the foods are good or bad foods, it’s actually making me feel in control of my choices. I have 0 sense of deprivation and it’s new and exciting. For now, I’m just sticking with a carb limit of 15-30 for breakfast and any snacks and then 45-60 for lunch and dinner. Some days I switch those around, so if I have a carb heavier breakfast, I’ll go lighter for lunch. I am learning that it’s totally possible to have all the foods I love, but it’s all about portions and fitting it into my day.

I’m still in the process of setting up this site how I want it. I have a ton of ideas, but I need to just focus and go for it instead of just thinking about it. I’m trying to figure out the best way to set up the workout programs and plans that I have, but having a hard time getting that going. For now I just post on Instagram, but I want to have a space that’s permanent…which is why I’m bringing this space back to life. Slowly…but I’ll get there!

Brain Dump

I let all of this out yesterday to my husband, but it is very helpful to write it out as well. First, let me start by saying that I am 100% done with trying to sell programs, supplements, etc for MLM’s. I have tried and failed twice. Actually, no, 3 times. It’s quite obvious it’s not for me. I’m not knocking those who are successful, seriously more freaking power to you!

I am in a new chapter in life (I hate that phrase, but it’s fitting, so I’m using it.) All 4 of my kids are in school, one is going to graduate, one is almost driving and I’m home with a lot of free time. So I found myself asking- what do I want? Short answer- a fitness empire.

I worked REALLY really hard to get certified as a personal trainer last year, but then I got scared and shy and stopped pursuing a lot of the ideas that I had. I started looking for ways I could use my knowledge without really putting myself out there. I was thinking that I can’t fail if I never try. I started selling someone else’s dream, instead of pursing my own. It’s time I go after my dream.

My ultimate goal- to own a gym, to transform this space from a weight loss blog/diary to a fully functioning website. I LOVE LOVE creating workout plans and programs. In the future, they will be for sale on this site. Some freebies as well. I am also planning on getting the nutrition certification as well with NASM next year.

I’m currently taking a much needed social media posting break. I just can’t right now, I need to focus and hustle. Because first things first, I need to get myself to the healthiest, happiest version of that I can be.

Stay tuned- all support is welcome!!!