April {Sorrow and Joy}

5 years ago life changed. On April 13, 2010 my Dad was killed instantly in a head on collision. It’s been 5 years, but I can still tell you every detail of that day (I even remember what I had for breakfast and lunch…but don’t ask me what I ate last week.) and I still remember that horrible conversation with two detectives as they confirmed our worst fears. The reason my Dad hadn’t shown up to meet me at the library and lunch was because he had died hours before. I talked to him less than an hour before the crash- we were supposed to meet at the library and have lunch, like we did every Tuesday with (at the time) my two youngest kids who were 5 and 2. Our worry about where he could be was quickly replaced with sorrow as we learned what had happened that morning. The rest of that year is nothing but a blur, I can’t tell you much of what happened; except for the fact that the losses didn’t end there; in June, I lost another friend, in August, my Husband’s boss and wife were killed in a motorcycle accident and in December a friend passed away in her sleep at the young age of 38. It was a horrible year.

Each year after that, April was a month I wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out of. Because 3 days before my Dad died, was his birthday (April 10).

And then in the summer of 2013 as we came home from a camping trip and were getting all 3 kids ready for school in a few weeks (my youngest was going to start Kindergarten and I was going to take my CPT exam and start training clients while kids were at school), we got a huge surprise and found out I was pregnant. That pregnancy was anything but normal. To make a long story very short after 4 home tests, I went to my OB who confirmed the pregnancy with a urine test and scheduled an ultrasound the following week. At that ultrasound, there was nothing there but an empty amniotic sac. I chose to let my body miscarry on it’s own instead of having a D&C and a few weeks later I believed I had miscarried (bleeding and cramping for about a week) and thought it was over. I went in a few weeks after that to make sure the miscarriage was complete only to find out I never miscarried and was almost 12 weeks pregnant. And my due date: April 2014

My csection was scheduled for April 15, but Emma had different plans and was born April 8, 2014. A reason to celebrate in April instead of dreading it. Next week we celebrate Emma’s 1st birthday and also remember my Dad on the 5 year anniversary of his passing. I miss him more than words can express, but I’m so thankful for a reason to smile again.

So, let’s do this April. I’m ready to make this a fantastic month.

9 comments

  1. Jill says:

    Oh my I’m so sorry to hear what happened to your father. I can’t even imagine expecting him for lunch and then getting that news. And I’m sorry for everything else that happened in that month as well. Except for your daughter – she was your little miracle!

  2. Liz @ I Heart Vegetables says:

    Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry about your father. It’s amazing that you’ve been able to turn April into a month of joy though. I’m so thankful that you have your daughter to bring you a little sunshine in April!

  3. Melanie @ Happy Being Healthy says:

    Wow, what a powerful story! I’m so sorry to hear about your father. I cannot even imagine. I’m also so sorry to hear about all of the losses you experienced that year. So so tough.

    I cannot believe that amazing story about your daughter! What a blessing and what a blessing you didn’t have a D&C! I hope you have a wonderful April this year.

  4. Nikki says:

    My grandma died in April two years ago. It was less than a month after my grandpa’s 90th birthday so he at least got that wonderful gift, for her to celebrate with him one last time!

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