*sigh* I seriously feel like I’m at a loss right now. I hated the person who was SO obsessed with the scale and my days revolved around what that stupid machine said, BUT, I still have work to do and some changes to make. This is a picture from January 1st and today. Not much has changed – on the outside. On the inside I’m a totally different person. My confidence is returning, I am looking forward to working out every day and love that release of endorphins after an exhausting workout.
Getting real now: I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to go back to weighing myself daily. It was exhausting and I valued that number way too much. I don’t want to obsess about every single thing I put in my mouth either, weighing, measuring, I don’t have time for it and I don’t want to do it. Typing all of this out sounds like I’m making a ton of excuses, maybe I am. That’s why I have this blog- to figure things out. What it comes down to- I don’t have a “goal weight.” But, let’s be honest, I want my clothes to fit better and don’t want to be a size XL anymore which is where I’m at now. I am a Diabetic. Will I have to be on insulin the rest of my life? Quite possibly. There is a small chance that if I get the weight off I can wean off the insulin and not need as much, so don’t’ I owe it to myself to give that a fair shot? Absolutely.
This post is really all over the place- sorry about that and welcome to my brain. So where do I go from here? I wish I knew. I think I’m going to start slow- track foods that I’m eating and see if I can tweak what I’m doing. I know there are some days I barely get a vegetable in my mouth. I am almost 1 week free of fast food and I can tell it’s making a big difference. As for weighing in, I just don’t want to go down that road again. I think tracking my measurements is going to be my answer for now.
If you made it through to the end of this post- congratulations – I don’t even know how to wrap this up at this point. Ha.